How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?

Raymond Law — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:38:00 -0400

Since I have Verizon FiOS running perfectly for 3 days now, I called to cancel all my Cox services. It took 3 attempts to do it.

First call:

I navigated through their complex and redundant voice menu to finally hear “Please hold.” Boy they mean it. I was put on ‘silent’ hold for 15 minutes, then a strange music was on then off, and back on hold I was. Taking a peek from working on my Macbook, I was disconnected :(

Hmm… I figure they really can’t afford to lose any more customers to Verizon and they are probabl thinking maybe I will change my mind and call Verizon instead to cancel my FiOS. Nice try!

Second call:

Again I was greeted by their automated voice system. BTW, Cox has been my friend many times more than the number of friends I made since I had ICQ, AIM, MSN, Yahoo, Google Talk, Skype, Facebook,... combined.

Here is the conversation (not exact word by word coz I can’t possibly remember that many words coming out of a robot’s mouth):

Robot: Thank you for choosing Cox Communications, your friend in the digital age. (Some spanish…)

Robot: Welcome to the Cox automated service, ... so tell me in just a few words, tell me why you are calling today?

Me: Cancel services.

Robot: Did you say “Change your existing services?” If so, please say yes,....

Me: Cancel!

Robot: I am sorry I did not understand you. Please try again. You can say in a few words…

Me: Fucking Cancel!!!

Robot: I am sorry…

I just hung up… Should I send them a letter through USPS?

Last call (hopefully ever):

I made yet another friend with Cox. Usual greeting not worth repeating anymore.

Robot: Thank you for choosing Cox Communications, your friend in the digital age. (Some spanish…)

Robot: Welcome to the Cox automated service, ... so tell me in just a few words, tell me why you are calling today?

Me: Cancel ALL services.

Robot: Did you say “Cancel all services?”

Me: YES!!!

Robot: Okay. Please hold while I transfer you to a representative…

Apparently, the key to cancel with Cox is the word ALL.

I finally was able to speak to a guy who helped me cancel my services with Cox. He asked:

Human: May I ask why you want to cancel?

Me: (Not wanting to hear any last minute pitch about how I would suffer after losing Cox as my friend) I switched to Verizon. It was cheaper, works better, got more stuff. It was kind of a no-brainer.

That finally sealed the deal and ended my long-lasting friendship with Cox. So I wrote this post to celebrate my new friendship with Verizon FiOS, hoping our friendship will not come to a bitter end.

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by Aric

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 10:05:52 -0400

It is much different here. It is like a match.

The time they made you hold - VS - Your patient

why ?

You dialled a phone number that will be charged per minute.

Good start ! The longer you hold, the more money will go into their account from your account.

Or, some companies are even worse. They have their call centres in India. People that you are speaking to will have a strong Pakintan accent and you have no idea what they are talking about !

I lost my patient in 3 minutes’ time. Not bad !

So I would rather speak to Robot than people speaking different ‘English’. The result might still be the same !

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by Raymond Law

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:25:18 -0400

Yeah I normally try the “0” route first. Since I figured this would be my last time calling Cox, I wanted to go through their voice menu one last time, not knowing I had to three times though.

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by ayn

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:30:34 -0400

first thing i always try is press zero or say “operator” to see if i can get to a human being…

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by Vinly

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:51:24 -0400

This is Hilarious!

“ALL” is the key word! We will keep that in mind! LOL~

Raymond Law: How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?

How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by Aric

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by Raymond Law

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by ayn

"How to lose a friend in 30 minutes?" by Vinly