How to lose a friend in 30 minutes? 4
Since I have Verizon FiOS running perfectly for 3 days now, I called to cancel all my Cox services. It took 3 attempts to do it.
First call:
I navigated through their complex and redundant voice menu to finally hear “Please hold.” Boy they mean it. I was put on ‘silent’ hold for 15 minutes, then a strange music was on then off, and back on hold I was. Taking a peek from working on my Macbook, I was disconnected :(
Hmm… I figure they really can’t afford to lose any more customers to Verizon and they are probabl thinking maybe I will change my mind and call Verizon instead to cancel my FiOS. Nice try!
Second call:
Again I was greeted by their automated voice system. BTW, Cox has been my friend many times more than the number of friends I made since I had ICQ, AIM, MSN, Yahoo, Google Talk, Skype, Facebook,... combined.
Here is the conversation (not exact word by word coz I can’t possibly remember that many words coming out of a robot’s mouth):
Robot: Thank you for choosing Cox Communications, your friend in the digital age. (Some spanish…)
Robot: Welcome to the Cox automated service, ... so tell me in just a few words, tell me why you are calling today?
Me: Cancel services.
Robot: Did you say “Change your existing services?” If so, please say yes,....
Me: Cancel!
Robot: I am sorry I did not understand you. Please try again. You can say in a few words…
Me: Fucking Cancel!!!
Robot: I am sorry…
I just hung up… Should I send them a letter through USPS?
Last call (hopefully ever):
I made yet another friend with Cox. Usual greeting not worth repeating anymore.
Robot: Thank you for choosing Cox Communications, your friend in the digital age. (Some spanish…)
Robot: Welcome to the Cox automated service, ... so tell me in just a few words, tell me why you are calling today?
Me: Cancel ALL services.
Robot: Did you say “Cancel all services?”
Me: YES!!!
Robot: Okay. Please hold while I transfer you to a representative…
Apparently, the key to cancel with Cox is the word ALL.
I finally was able to speak to a guy who helped me cancel my services with Cox. He asked:
Human: May I ask why you want to cancel?
Me: (Not wanting to hear any last minute pitch about how I would suffer after losing Cox as my friend) I switched to Verizon. It was cheaper, works better, got more stuff. It was kind of a no-brainer.
That finally sealed the deal and ended my long-lasting friendship with Cox. So I wrote this post to celebrate my new friendship with Verizon FiOS, hoping our friendship will not come to a bitter end.
